George W Bush final report card

Successes:

Having a creativily use of vocabulation: A

Keeping the job of copy editors, comedians, and english translators recession proof (until now): A

Avoiding conducting press conferences: B

Avoiding putting his fingerprints on the veto pen: B+

Good looking twin daughters: A

Failures:

Getting the twins on the cover of Maxim: F

Living up to liberal conspiracy theories of him bring martial law to America before we could elect another president: F

Using the Oval Office as his person adulterous playground: F

Stopping natural disasters such as hurricanes, tsunamis, and "The View": F

Trampling the constitutional rights of those who have protested him since Inauguration Day 2001: F

On a more serious note:

Keeping social/non-military spending in check: D- (should be an F, but I'm throwing him a bone)

"Chunking" aside free market principles: C (some blame belongs to congress after all)

Squandering the conservative influence on public policy: C+ (again, some blame belongs to congress)

Illegal immigration: F- (it was F--- before he commuted the sentences of Ramos and Campeon)

Efforts in foreign and humanitarian aid: A

Bragging about these efforts: D+

Tax policy: A

War on terror: A

Making sure more Americans would die from terrorists attacks after 9/11: F

Overall: TBD

At her graduation her vagina should get hooded too

22 year old Natalie Dylan is selling her virginity so she can have money to pay for school to get her Master’s Degree.

She got the idea from her sister, who prostituted herself for three weeks and earned enough money to fund her entire college education....where she majored in shamelessness and minored in dignity.

Nasty Natalie on the other hand, wants to get her advanced degree in family and marriage therapy. She already has a bachelors in women's studies, which tells me exactly why she needs a masters degree since she has an undergraduate education that has prepared her to do nothing useful with her life. (on a side note, I've be studying women since puberty kicked in...where's my damn degree?)

When asked why she wanted to do this she gave an answer that frankly completely pre-qualifies her for what now passes for a modern day graduate level education

“We wanted to study the dichotomous nature between virginity and prostitution. There’s really been so few case studies of it…"

Setting aside the wonder of how such a study will be applied to an advanced degree in family and marriage THERAPY I'm actually really concerned that in her quest to make herself into a virginal prostitute paradox she wont be able to recognize that the "tear" in the space time continuum she thinks she is creating is actually just her hymen suffering from separation anxiety.

In the end this is just more proof that abstinence based sex education works....she is now a role model for girls to hold on to their virginity until the right college comes along.