mmmmm......VEEP Steaks...yum!

Man oh man this month put the veep into "veeple like their vice presidents"!

If you know what that means let me know....'cuz then there will be two of us.

As far as I know identity politics have never played a greater role in any election. John McCain's selection of Sarah Palin is an obvious attempt to balance out and steal from the "ground breaker" thunder that Barack Obama has claimed since he became a serious contender.

TANGENT TIME:

"They said this day would never come"
-Barack Obama, after winning Iowa primary

Obama failed to mention that "They" is some dude with a pronoun for a name, who is the president, vice president, treasurer, secretary, and indeed only member of the Des Moines KKK. Obama's victory proved him wrong.

Obama's failure to mention this makes for an insinuation that America was saying a black man could never be president. That makes the statement doubly wrong.

On the other hand I am making all of this nonsense up, which makes the statement Tripoli wrong.

END TANGENT TIME

After my shock that McCain passed up the MAN who was probably his first choice, Governor Pawlenty of Minnesota...and after hearing Palin's story...I realized what McCain is doing.....

The only thing he can to win this election....beat the perception that he is GWB part 3.

McCain's maverick status is one of the key ingredients to a "Republican fresh start bisque", but this clearly isn't enough, because it still tastes a bit bland and stale......well, what would you expect.....its been sitting on the shelf for 72 years.

So he picks a maverick in her own right in Palin, whose background and family history resembles the humility of Bill Clinton more than the privilege of the Bush family. This coupled with her likeablility make her like a chocolate covering that provides the only reason for ever eating a grasshopper....to turn something disgusting into an exotic delicacy.

That is what McCain is trying to push...without actually saying it...a fresh start. However, McCain simply McCan't spell that out because that would be an admission that the Republican Party has been a failure over the last 4 years and it (cough) is true (cough) wont be good for the PR fight with Obama.

So now the race is on to prove who is the "fresher" start. You have sort of a ying yang situation going on:

Democrats: Top of the ticket is fresh, bottom is stale Washington

Republicans: Vice versa (I didn't want to take the above text and reverse it for the sake of saving time which is ironic since typing up this explanation is taking longer than if I just copied the above text, pasted it, and then reversed the order....maybe I really am a liberal since I seem to be good at making simple things so difficult....YAY! I'm nuanced!)

So the trick for the Democrats is this: Make sure both sides of the ticket represent a fresh start....here's how:

Joe Biden, MD...no he is not a medical doctor, but the MD details his medical condition known as MOUTH DIARRHEA.

Whenever he stops talking Democrats can triumphantly announce that Biden has provided a "fresh start" on finally getting something done.

Joe Biden's motormouth not only makes the Obama-Biden ticket a fresher start it helps Obama redeem himself with regard to the question "when does life begin?" Which he fumbled so very badly with Rick Warren at Saddleback Church, but now with Biden by his side Obama now has a legitimate answer:

"I don't know....(puts one arm around Biden while the other duct tapes his mouth shut) but I can tell you when it begins again."

John McCain is SO old....

"But McCain's mistakes raise a serious, if uncomfortable question: Are the gaffes the result of his age? And what could that mean in the Oval Office?"

How OLD is he?

When asked to be a running mate Jesus worried his youth would be a disadvantage...

To him conservatism is the fight against global warming at the end of the ice age....

The jokes and snide comments about his age are starting to look YOUNG.

Look, I'm not excited that the better man for the job of the presidency is a man who thinks computers are paperweights you can plug in, but one of the greatest presidents this country has elected was an old man...the oldest yet at the time.

It has NOTHING to do with age.

It doesn't stop the press from pressing the question. We don't get news articles about policy speeches and campaign stops...we get constant reminders like the above link that the roadblock to "progress" is a really old white guy.....oh and don't forget....he's old.

And one other thing...he's old.

Liberals have every reason to be more scared of a President McCain than anything else...he will likely appoint up to 2 Supreme Court Justice's. The likely nominees for replacement are Ruth Bader Ginsberg and John Paul Stevens....incidentally both use all 3 names...

TANGENT TIME:

Is it just me or is it more than coincidence that the crazies in history are identified with 3 names?

Lee Harvey Oswald

John Hinkley Jr.

Osama bin Ladin

But The Looking Spoon...what about Martin Luther King Jr.? Four names....count 'em...3 is an odd number...hence the ODD that comes with it.

But The Looking Spoon...what about The Looking Spoon? Thats right! Don't you forget the oddity that is me! But I digress...

END TANGENT TIME

Its not just the names of these justices...its their AGE...Ginsberg is 75, and Stevens is 88. This makes concerns over McCain's age puzzling since both justices are older than he is.....and yet....there are no questions on "what this means for the Supreme Court" as these justices along with justices Breyer and Souter are sacred cows in the liberal orthodoxy. So their age has nothing to do with their job performance because they pull the lever for the right people.

This begs the question: If McCain is old enough to witness the signing of the constitution, shouldn't he be our leader for no other reason than he'll actually understand it better than those four whipper snapper upstarts?

Food for thought.....It is a virtual truism that "with age comes wisdom"....and its not a coincidence that Barack Obama, 46, has never been accused of having wisdom, even by his own party. Instead, we get platitudes about "hope" and "change" and "well, the youth like him."

Its not enough that the Democratic primary season was nothing more than a vote for prom king based on which minority will be more cool to have on the general election ballot, but now we're being told that we have to follow the lead of kids who get their news from MTV and The Daily Show.

No wonder Barack Obama's initials are B.O.....everything about this overemphasis on youth stinks like a newborn baby's diaper.

I don't know...Maybe its just me...

"Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope." - Aristotle

McCain wins all important pet owner demographic

What liberal media?

An AP/Yahoo News poll says that more pet owners favor McCain, a pet owner himself, over Obama, who is not a pet owner. See....McCain does get good press. However, before conservatives throw a party over the good news they should remember that when you lie with dogs you're bound to get fleas...and McCain owns 14 of them.

Be that as it may...its apparent that every dog, and their Republican presidential candidate master, has its day in the court of public opinion.

For some reason...I don't know why...I think its awesomely appropriate that Yahoo sponsored this poll. It helps describe the people who came up with it.

The poll doesn't mention the fact that the major teachers union the National Education Association recently endorsed Obama....with all the number of teachers in the country it would have been interesting to know if their numbers would have affected the outcome now that we know Obama is their pet.

haha teachers pet...get it? Its funny because I have to expain it.

I'm not sure why pet owners favor McCain more...but the only group that went heavily for Obama were ostrich aficionados.

Yeah yeah...people are thinking "because they like to bury their heads in the sand".....thats not it! Ostriches don't actually do that....

It has more to do with the correlation that ostrich brains are the size of an eyeball....

Kerry on with the Hypocrisy

On the Today show Matt Lauer asked John McCain a question in regards to the surge working and the ability to estimate when troops can be brought home. McCain's response.

"That's not too important. What's important is the casualties in Iraq."

He then went on to talk about the importance of keeping those casualties low and how we have troops stationed in all corners of the world, particularly in countries the US has been at war with in the past.

After the interview the winner of Miss Congeniality of 2004, John Kerry, said McCain is "unbelievably out of touch, and inconsistent with the needs and concerns of Americans and particularly the families of the troops who are over there. "

Kerry's anti-war rhetoric upon his return to Vietnam was used by many to undermine the troops over there that were not fortunate enough to join him. So he knows exactly what he is talking about.

Incidentally, so does John McCain....