Its been a year in the making with planning, and sketching, and building, depriving myself of sleep to get this done...but I have 10 comics in the can and the first three are available on
www.thelookingspoon.com.
TLS 4 will be posted on August 11, and after that the plan is to make it weekly. So please check it out!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
John McCain is SO old....
"But McCain's mistakes raise a serious, if uncomfortable question: Are the gaffes the result of his age? And what could that mean in the Oval Office?"
How OLD is he?
When asked to be a running mate Jesus worried his youth would be a disadvantage...
To him conservatism is the fight against global warming at the end of the ice age....
The jokes and snide comments about his age are starting to look YOUNG.
Look, I'm not excited that the better man for the job of the presidency is a man who thinks computers are paperweights you can plug in, but one of the greatest presidents this country has elected was an old man...the oldest yet at the time.
It has NOTHING to do with age.
It doesn't stop the press from pressing the question. We don't get news articles about policy speeches and campaign stops...we get constant reminders like the above link that the roadblock to "progress" is a really old white guy.....oh and don't forget....he's old.
And one other thing...he's old.
Liberals have every reason to be more scared of a President McCain than anything else...he will likely appoint up to 2 Supreme Court Justice's. The likely nominees for replacement are Ruth Bader Ginsberg and John Paul Stevens....incidentally both use all 3 names...
TANGENT TIME:
Is it just me or is it more than coincidence that the crazies in history are identified with 3 names?
Lee Harvey Oswald
John Hinkley Jr.
Osama bin Ladin
But The Looking Spoon...what about Martin Luther King Jr.? Four names....count 'em...3 is an odd number...hence the ODD that comes with it.
But The Looking Spoon...what about The Looking Spoon? Thats right! Don't you forget the oddity that is me! But I digress...
END TANGENT TIME
Its not just the names of these justices...its their AGE...Ginsberg is 75, and Stevens is 88. This makes concerns over McCain's age puzzling since both justices are older than he is.....and yet....there are no questions on "what this means for the Supreme Court" as these justices along with justices Breyer and Souter are sacred cows in the liberal orthodoxy. So their age has nothing to do with their job performance because they pull the lever for the right people.
This begs the question: If McCain is old enough to witness the signing of the constitution, shouldn't he be our leader for no other reason than he'll actually understand it better than those four whipper snapper upstarts?
Food for thought.....It is a virtual truism that "with age comes wisdom"....and its not a coincidence that Barack Obama, 46, has never been accused of having wisdom, even by his own party. Instead, we get platitudes about "hope" and "change" and "well, the youth like him."
Its not enough that the Democratic primary season was nothing more than a vote for prom king based on which minority will be more cool to have on the general election ballot, but now we're being told that we have to follow the lead of kids who get their news from MTV and The Daily Show.
No wonder Barack Obama's initials are B.O.....everything about this overemphasis on youth stinks like a newborn baby's diaper.
I don't know...Maybe its just me...
"Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope." - Aristotle
Saturday, July 12, 2008
And the Streisand goes to....
Is the suspense actually killing you?!?!
Yeah yeah she endorsed Obama.....in other breaking news ice cream endorsed freon.
After years and years of witnessing what they do I never cease to be amazed by what celebrities think of their endorsement of political candidates. We never ask for it, poll after poll tells them we don't care....but they issue press releases which basically amount to them saying "if I wanted your opinion I would give it to you."
Case in point from Babs's (which I'm starting realize, after reading the full endorsement, is short for "Babbles") website/blog is the final line of her endorsement:
I support Barack Obama for President and look forward to November when I can make my voice heard along with millions of other Americans. I hope you’ll join me.
Don't join Barack Obama....join her.
Or rather join Margery Tabankin, who officially is Babbles's political adviser. So Babbles's opinions aren't even her own.
This endorsement is a change from her, I mean Tabankin's, support of the vanquished Hillary Clinton, and amazingly it wasn't too obvious for the uber liberal Democrat to figure out where her support would go to next because it took more than a month for her to figure it out!
The worst part about it all is this must be a huge blow the McCain campaign....how will they shore up the conservative base now?
Yeah yeah she endorsed Obama.....in other breaking news ice cream endorsed freon.
After years and years of witnessing what they do I never cease to be amazed by what celebrities think of their endorsement of political candidates. We never ask for it, poll after poll tells them we don't care....but they issue press releases which basically amount to them saying "if I wanted your opinion I would give it to you."
Case in point from Babs's (which I'm starting realize, after reading the full endorsement, is short for "Babbles") website/blog is the final line of her endorsement:
I support Barack Obama for President and look forward to November when I can make my voice heard along with millions of other Americans. I hope you’ll join me.
Don't join Barack Obama....join her.
Or rather join Margery Tabankin, who officially is Babbles's political adviser. So Babbles's opinions aren't even her own.
This endorsement is a change from her, I mean Tabankin's, support of the vanquished Hillary Clinton, and amazingly it wasn't too obvious for the uber liberal Democrat to figure out where her support would go to next because it took more than a month for her to figure it out!
The worst part about it all is this must be a huge blow the McCain campaign....how will they shore up the conservative base now?
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
McCain wins all important pet owner demographic
What liberal media?
An AP/Yahoo News poll says that more pet owners favor McCain, a pet owner himself, over Obama, who is not a pet owner. See....McCain does get good press. However, before conservatives throw a party over the good news they should remember that when you lie with dogs you're bound to get fleas...and McCain owns 14 of them.
Be that as it may...its apparent that every dog, and their Republican presidential candidate master, has its day in the court of public opinion.
For some reason...I don't know why...I think its awesomely appropriate that Yahoo sponsored this poll. It helps describe the people who came up with it.
The poll doesn't mention the fact that the major teachers union the National Education Association recently endorsed Obama....with all the number of teachers in the country it would have been interesting to know if their numbers would have affected the outcome now that we know Obama is their pet.
haha teachers pet...get it? Its funny because I have to expain it.
I'm not sure why pet owners favor McCain more...but the only group that went heavily for Obama were ostrich aficionados.
Yeah yeah...people are thinking "because they like to bury their heads in the sand".....thats not it! Ostriches don't actually do that....
It has more to do with the correlation that ostrich brains are the size of an eyeball....
An AP/Yahoo News poll says that more pet owners favor McCain, a pet owner himself, over Obama, who is not a pet owner. See....McCain does get good press. However, before conservatives throw a party over the good news they should remember that when you lie with dogs you're bound to get fleas...and McCain owns 14 of them.
Be that as it may...its apparent that every dog, and their Republican presidential candidate master, has its day in the court of public opinion.
For some reason...I don't know why...I think its awesomely appropriate that Yahoo sponsored this poll. It helps describe the people who came up with it.
The poll doesn't mention the fact that the major teachers union the National Education Association recently endorsed Obama....with all the number of teachers in the country it would have been interesting to know if their numbers would have affected the outcome now that we know Obama is their pet.
haha teachers pet...get it? Its funny because I have to expain it.
I'm not sure why pet owners favor McCain more...but the only group that went heavily for Obama were ostrich aficionados.
Yeah yeah...people are thinking "because they like to bury their heads in the sand".....thats not it! Ostriches don't actually do that....
It has more to do with the correlation that ostrich brains are the size of an eyeball....
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Whats the difference between Global Warming and the Holcaust?
Well, if you tell Al Gore that he has to pick the one that definitely doesn't exist....then Mel Gibson's father is going to have a new best friend.
Global Warming has become the greatest modern religious movement since John Lennon's ghost piloted the Hale Bopp comet to salvation for the suicidal Heaven's Gate cult.....and to steal a line from the caller I heard on Dennis Miller's radio show, Al Gore has become the church of GW's Eco-Pope.
On a side note, I know the whole John Lennon/Hale Bopp/Heaven's Gate connection doesn't any make sense...thats why I juxtaposed it with Global Warming.
(On another side note, I supposed they are in fact connected inasmuch as the Heaven's Gate cult were a bunch of space cadets....and John Lennon was the Space Cadet Commander in the political activist period of his life...there, they're connected...happy now?)
I realize there is a lot of visual evidence that something is happening. However there is also way too much hyperventilating about the "alarming" rate at which the worldwide temperature is rising. Researchers, armed with only a century's worth of meteorological data about the world's climate and the topography of the earths ice have, as Pope Gore famously declared, "closed the debate" on the subject.
Think about that, for centuries, indeed, millenia of human history we only have a decent grasp on global meteorology from the last century...and that is a very generous assessment.
But the debate is closed, and Pope Gore is going to lead us to the fluorescent light at the end of the glacially eroded tunnel. How is he going to do it? He's going to lead by example!
In the last year his electricity usage amounted to 221,000 kilowatt-hours. His monthly average is 17,768 kilowatt-hours. This staggering number is up 10% from his usage last year.
Meanwhile the average American home consumes 11,040 kilowatt hours.....PER YEAR.
The Catholic Church has been in a frenzy since this revelation, as they thought they held a monopoly in the religious hypocrisy market.
I think this speaks for itself when it comes to addressing the real motivations for this 21st Century Crusade. Furthermore, the only group Gore actually ingratiates himself with, frankly, is Hollywood. Until now it seemed impossible that a bunch of wasteful, selfish, self-centered, narcissistic attention whores could actually find a leader. Sorry to say in a year of barrier breaking Barack Obama has been outdone.
As of today I hope Gore takes his private jet to Aspen in the next day or two so he can enjoy a good round of snow skiing...yes snow...as Aspen enjoys its second longest ski season on record.
Gore has already won two of the most prestigious awards attainable to society's cadre of self-congratulators. The Nobel Peace Prize, and an Academy Award.
I'm setting up a new award just for Gore's efforts....I've been inspired....its called:
Luminaries in the Initiative for Arctic Restoration
I know that seems kind of long...so I'm going to shorten it to its acronym:
LIAR
Global Warming has become the greatest modern religious movement since John Lennon's ghost piloted the Hale Bopp comet to salvation for the suicidal Heaven's Gate cult.....and to steal a line from the caller I heard on Dennis Miller's radio show, Al Gore has become the church of GW's Eco-Pope.
On a side note, I know the whole John Lennon/Hale Bopp/Heaven's Gate connection doesn't any make sense...thats why I juxtaposed it with Global Warming.
(On another side note, I supposed they are in fact connected inasmuch as the Heaven's Gate cult were a bunch of space cadets....and John Lennon was the Space Cadet Commander in the political activist period of his life...there, they're connected...happy now?)
I realize there is a lot of visual evidence that something is happening. However there is also way too much hyperventilating about the "alarming" rate at which the worldwide temperature is rising. Researchers, armed with only a century's worth of meteorological data about the world's climate and the topography of the earths ice have, as Pope Gore famously declared, "closed the debate" on the subject.
Think about that, for centuries, indeed, millenia of human history we only have a decent grasp on global meteorology from the last century...and that is a very generous assessment.
But the debate is closed, and Pope Gore is going to lead us to the fluorescent light at the end of the glacially eroded tunnel. How is he going to do it? He's going to lead by example!
In the last year his electricity usage amounted to 221,000 kilowatt-hours. His monthly average is 17,768 kilowatt-hours. This staggering number is up 10% from his usage last year.
Meanwhile the average American home consumes 11,040 kilowatt hours.....PER YEAR.
The Catholic Church has been in a frenzy since this revelation, as they thought they held a monopoly in the religious hypocrisy market.
I think this speaks for itself when it comes to addressing the real motivations for this 21st Century Crusade. Furthermore, the only group Gore actually ingratiates himself with, frankly, is Hollywood. Until now it seemed impossible that a bunch of wasteful, selfish, self-centered, narcissistic attention whores could actually find a leader. Sorry to say in a year of barrier breaking Barack Obama has been outdone.
As of today I hope Gore takes his private jet to Aspen in the next day or two so he can enjoy a good round of snow skiing...yes snow...as Aspen enjoys its second longest ski season on record.
Gore has already won two of the most prestigious awards attainable to society's cadre of self-congratulators. The Nobel Peace Prize, and an Academy Award.
I'm setting up a new award just for Gore's efforts....I've been inspired....its called:
Luminaries in the Initiative for Arctic Restoration
I know that seems kind of long...so I'm going to shorten it to its acronym:
LIAR
Friday, June 13, 2008
A Preview of What Will Come if Obama Loses
With both major Democratic candidates being minorities of some sort this year it was inevitable whoever loses would be afflicted with Ism-itis.
Hillary lost, and it was sexism according to Katie Couric, news anchor for last place CBS News...so nobody actually heard her say it.
Sexism....It had nothing to do with the fact that she was the $400 iPhone on the Edge, and Barack Obama is the iPhone 3G. They're both basically the same thing...but Obama was a little shinier and newer.
Now that Hillary can't be our leader it is now clear that she is going back to being what she really does best...being Victim-In-Chief. I didn't know that it wasn't Obama's charisma, or the fact that he actually had an election strategy in the primaries that gave him victory. He won because he had a penis!
From the second Bill Clinton left office the party was licking its chops to make her George W. Bush's successor.....SEXISM?!?
What sexism?!?! The kind of sexism that radiated from public opinion polls showing for the last 8 years that she would be the next president? There was literally only one person that could derail her....and nobody even believed he could do it until about....5 minutes ago.
Hillary has spent too much time absorbing the attitude of free entitlement that politicians have been doling out to voters since Halloween replaced Independence Day as the official holiday of the Republican and Democratic parties that she just expected that it was her turn. "Election" hasn't been in her vocabulary since no longer needed it after the verbal portion of her SAT exam.
"Sexism", however, must have been tattooed to her and Katie Couric's cornea, because apparently thats all they see.
Barack Obama won because of an American ideal that has assured our success for more than two centuries. Hard work. The one thing Hillary didn't start doing until she realized that it actually worked better than the Eva Peron strategy.
I realize in saying this that Argentinian president Cristina Ferdinand de Kirchner has no clue what I'm talking about....lucky for her.
Hillary lost, and it was sexism according to Katie Couric, news anchor for last place CBS News...so nobody actually heard her say it.
Sexism....It had nothing to do with the fact that she was the $400 iPhone on the Edge, and Barack Obama is the iPhone 3G. They're both basically the same thing...but Obama was a little shinier and newer.
Now that Hillary can't be our leader it is now clear that she is going back to being what she really does best...being Victim-In-Chief. I didn't know that it wasn't Obama's charisma, or the fact that he actually had an election strategy in the primaries that gave him victory. He won because he had a penis!
From the second Bill Clinton left office the party was licking its chops to make her George W. Bush's successor.....SEXISM?!?
What sexism?!?! The kind of sexism that radiated from public opinion polls showing for the last 8 years that she would be the next president? There was literally only one person that could derail her....and nobody even believed he could do it until about....5 minutes ago.
Hillary has spent too much time absorbing the attitude of free entitlement that politicians have been doling out to voters since Halloween replaced Independence Day as the official holiday of the Republican and Democratic parties that she just expected that it was her turn. "Election" hasn't been in her vocabulary since no longer needed it after the verbal portion of her SAT exam.
"Sexism", however, must have been tattooed to her and Katie Couric's cornea, because apparently thats all they see.
Barack Obama won because of an American ideal that has assured our success for more than two centuries. Hard work. The one thing Hillary didn't start doing until she realized that it actually worked better than the Eva Peron strategy.
I realize in saying this that Argentinian president Cristina Ferdinand de Kirchner has no clue what I'm talking about....lucky for her.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Kerry on with the Hypocrisy
On the Today show Matt Lauer asked John McCain a question in regards to the surge working and the ability to estimate when troops can be brought home. McCain's response.
"That's not too important. What's important is the casualties in Iraq."
He then went on to talk about the importance of keeping those casualties low and how we have troops stationed in all corners of the world, particularly in countries the US has been at war with in the past.
After the interview the winner of Miss Congeniality of 2004, John Kerry, said McCain is "unbelievably out of touch, and inconsistent with the needs and concerns of Americans and particularly the families of the troops who are over there. "
Kerry's anti-war rhetoric upon his return to Vietnam was used by many to undermine the troops over there that were not fortunate enough to join him. So he knows exactly what he is talking about.
Incidentally, so does John McCain....
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