The Republican Party knew for 8 years that they were going to have a formidable juggernaut personality to run against in 2008 in the form of Hillary Clinton. The name alone was going to make for one the toughest fights they've had in a generation.
That's not even factoring in having to put up with her laugh. I'm convinced the economy would be much more stable right now if she were the nominee as ear plug futures would've offset the current crash we are experiencing.
Over the last 8 years the frothing at the mouth to have Hillary elected was so bad Old Yeller was debating whether WE should be put down....and this was a woman whose likability ranged somewhere between cold (or warm....or hot) Starbucks coffee and salt-drowned, open-faced, cold sore blisters (or was it the other way around?).
Then, along came Barack Obama. For 4 years he has proven he has every credential Hillary has, except for the un-likability merit badge. He spoke, people were mesmerized, and nobody ever knew why.
And by nobody ever knew why, I mean, nobody KNOWS why.
To be fair, I know why now.
The Republican Party, for the first time since Ronald Reagan was on the political scene, took decisive actions to stave of the election of leftism in the Democratic Party threatening to take over this country:
1. They ballooned the size of government faster than Lyndon Johnson
2. While I am not against the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, they allowed problems to mount just long enough for it to cost them congress for the next forseeable generation, and start the first credit crunch of our current crisis for the Republican Party on the issue of national security.
3. Screwing up the PR for the war on terrorism not being enough, the Republicans instituted Operation Junk Bond Credibility Status by fighting tooth and nail to give amnesty to illegal immigrants, which caused them to default on their National Securities loans because they were dead set on making sure that the country they sent our troops to fight for would not be the same country they would come home to.
Then Sarah Palin said, "oh yeah, THAT Bush Doctrine."
Tangent:
Incidentally illegal immigration has dropped tremendously thanks to our current economic crisis. It turns out the second October surprise (for the first one see the blog posted on October 1st) is that government's actual plan to curb illegal immigration was bankrupting the country, because enforcement of immigration law was just too expensive.
End Tangent
George W. Bush threw the conservative scarf around his neck 4 years ago and rubes like me cheered him on when he was actually liberal in just about everything but foreign policy and the proper pronunciation of "nuclear." In the hopes that they would steal Democratic voters the Republican Party became Democrat Lite.
The only thing they were actually light on was intelligence. If you give a liberal the choice of a liberal or a semi-liberal they will pick the liberal.....EVERY TIME.
Meanwhile they forget that Ronald Reagan won when he was unapologetic in espousing conservative virtues...he won.....EVERY TIME.
Because Bush is a Republican, we have people who got rich off of red-blooded conservatism like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, who STILL cheer for him and McCain.....and now we have for the first time someone who is beyond liberal in Barack Obama who looks like a viable alternative to a conservative brand that is a shadow of what Ronald Reagan left behind.
Barack Obama is a socialist in the best light, and in all likelihood a flat out leftist, and George W. Bush, coupled with Republicans who thought McCain was more "electable" in the primaries are now serving this man up as our next president.
I can't totally blame guys like Rush...its hard to remember where you came from, or where you're going, when you're constantly "amid billowing clouds of fragrant and aromatic first, second, and sometimes third hand premium cigar smoke."
And its hard for Hannity to hear what real conservative politicians are saying over shouts of who the greater American is competing with the sizzle of a $200 Ruths Cris steak dinner.
Oh yeah, and they're all FAT GREEDY JERKS........but I'm not mad.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
De bate was taken for 8 years...and counting
Lately there are things in life that disappoint me supremely:
1. Corporate greed (note, NOT free market capitalism)
2. Republicanism (note, NOT conservatism)
3. My continued insistence to hold out on my stock in Enron (Hello? Can somebody say collectors item?)
4. Leftist prevailing in the court of public opinion because Republicanism has been running around in conservatism's clothing for the last 8 years.
and finally...
5. Banana flavored anything (I swear my stock in Enron is more valuable than a banana Now and Later, which gets its name because I'll throw it in the trash can NOW, and LATER on I can take it out and eat it after the garbage masks its disgusting taste.)
Paradoxically, the one thing that does not disappoint me at all is how much I misoverestimated John McCain's ability to debate the issues. The first debate was supposed to belong to him because it was on foreign policy, this last one was supposed to go to him because it plays to his strength in speaking at a town hall setting.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice McShame on me.
Or to quote a Republican who is only conservative in conserving conservatism...uh, uh.....uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............ya ain't never gonna fool me agin'. he he he
Listening to McCain you would think that George W. Bush is Barack Obama behind a teleprompter.
Last Tuesday's debate revealed one of three things...either it showed that:
1. McCain is totally ignorant on economic issues
2. He is indeed to old and tired to be president
3. His speech and debate coach is Dora the Explorer.
I'll give credit where credit is due, if foreign policy were the absolute only thing a president deals with then we wouldn't even need to hold an election, but John McCain's understanding of what is going on with the economy right now shows not that he is ignorant of the issue...but that he is totally uncoachable in articulating it.....thus he is incapable of actually understanding it.
He narrowed it down to "stabilizing house prices." Therefore we have to buy up ALL the bad mortgages in America and "renegotiate" them. How on God's greenish brown (and decreasingly snowcapped) Earth does THAT address the fiscal AND economic crisis we face?
At this point I'm sure people are wondering why I bill myself as a conservative and yet all this blog has done is bash a sitting Republican president, and the current Republican nominee for president.
I do it precisely for what they actually are in the conservative movement...Republicant's.
I am NOT a good little solider like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh....singing the praises of a man whose politics I have publicly detested since ALWAYS solely because he doesn't carry a "D" at the end of Democratic Party Press Releases....aka the Associated Press reports....does NOTHING to advance the cause of conservatism.
I don't know what's harder to swallow:
1. That one letter is going to separate the name of our next president and our country's mortal enemy. (and that ZERO letter separate his middle name with that of its OTHER mortal enemy)
2. That the obviously superior philosophy of conservatism has utterly failed to come across as such for the last 8 years.
3. A banana flavored Now and Later
Hint: This won't at all give it away but.....One of these I'm being deathly serious about, and it comes in yellow wrapping....and its a RINO (ReallyGrossCandyAssBananaRepublicans In Name Only).
1. Corporate greed (note, NOT free market capitalism)
2. Republicanism (note, NOT conservatism)
3. My continued insistence to hold out on my stock in Enron (Hello? Can somebody say collectors item?)
4. Leftist prevailing in the court of public opinion because Republicanism has been running around in conservatism's clothing for the last 8 years.
and finally...
5. Banana flavored anything (I swear my stock in Enron is more valuable than a banana Now and Later, which gets its name because I'll throw it in the trash can NOW, and LATER on I can take it out and eat it after the garbage masks its disgusting taste.)
Paradoxically, the one thing that does not disappoint me at all is how much I misoverestimated John McCain's ability to debate the issues. The first debate was supposed to belong to him because it was on foreign policy, this last one was supposed to go to him because it plays to his strength in speaking at a town hall setting.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice McShame on me.
Or to quote a Republican who is only conservative in conserving conservatism...uh, uh.....uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............ya ain't never gonna fool me agin'. he he he
Listening to McCain you would think that George W. Bush is Barack Obama behind a teleprompter.
Last Tuesday's debate revealed one of three things...either it showed that:
1. McCain is totally ignorant on economic issues
2. He is indeed to old and tired to be president
3. His speech and debate coach is Dora the Explorer.
I'll give credit where credit is due, if foreign policy were the absolute only thing a president deals with then we wouldn't even need to hold an election, but John McCain's understanding of what is going on with the economy right now shows not that he is ignorant of the issue...but that he is totally uncoachable in articulating it.....thus he is incapable of actually understanding it.
He narrowed it down to "stabilizing house prices." Therefore we have to buy up ALL the bad mortgages in America and "renegotiate" them. How on God's greenish brown (and decreasingly snowcapped) Earth does THAT address the fiscal AND economic crisis we face?
At this point I'm sure people are wondering why I bill myself as a conservative and yet all this blog has done is bash a sitting Republican president, and the current Republican nominee for president.
I do it precisely for what they actually are in the conservative movement...Republicant's.
I am NOT a good little solider like Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh....singing the praises of a man whose politics I have publicly detested since ALWAYS solely because he doesn't carry a "D" at the end of Democratic Party Press Releases....aka the Associated Press reports....does NOTHING to advance the cause of conservatism.
I don't know what's harder to swallow:
1. That one letter is going to separate the name of our next president and our country's mortal enemy. (and that ZERO letter separate his middle name with that of its OTHER mortal enemy)
2. That the obviously superior philosophy of conservatism has utterly failed to come across as such for the last 8 years.
3. A banana flavored Now and Later
Hint: This won't at all give it away but.....One of these I'm being deathly serious about, and it comes in yellow wrapping....and its a RINO (ReallyGrossCandyAssBananaRepublicans In Name Only).
Friday, October 3, 2008
The funny thing about October Surprise predictions...
Its not really a surprise if the predictions turn out to be correct. (see last blog)
Congrats Governor Palin...you slipped your stutter box in Katie Couric's pocket...where it is in good company with her ratings...and you zippitydoda'd straight to victory against a man who must've downed a quart of verbal Pepto Bismol tonight.
Congrats Governor Palin...you slipped your stutter box in Katie Couric's pocket...where it is in good company with her ratings...and you zippitydoda'd straight to victory against a man who must've downed a quart of verbal Pepto Bismol tonight.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
In '08 you cant spell October Surprise without the letters V and P
Every time we get to October in the election cycle we hear rampant speculation there will be an "October Surprise." This year I think the October Surprise will be that there actually is one.
We get promised one every election year...but we never actually get it. Surprises are supposed to be exciting, but every October during election season I'm left disappointed every time....times 31.
Remember when we were kids and grandma and grandpa would visit, they always say "I've got a surprise for you" and then during their visit you endure cheek pinches, Metamucil milkshakes, and the smell of old (aww thats mean...don't you dare act like old isn't a smell) for hours, sometimes days if they want to make the trip from Florida worth it....and then they leave....like they don't remember saying it?
No, that never happens. You get that surprise, because grandparents are awesome, even though the surprise is just finding out what kind of sweater you get: V-neck or button up.
Or how about when your priest is baby sitting and he says "I've got a surprise for you" and you're like "gee I hope its an October Surprise!"
No, it never happens.
This time there is rampant speculation that Joseph "Gaffe-o-Rama" Biden will be dropped from the ticket so Hillary can come on and save the day from Obama's recent surge in the polls.
Yes Biden puts the "ass" in "gaffe" (you have to hold your tongue while saying "ass"...............you just tried it didn't you?) but that is not going to get Obama, or even himself, into any trouble.
"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened.' " FDR wasn't president then and television came along about a decade later.
Biden actually said this...and liberals STILL snicker about Dan Quayle and compare Sarah Palin to him.
At least P-O-T-A-T-O-E was in the ballpark of being factually correct.
Biden's departure is not going to be the October Surprise...
I think if any such surprise is going to happen its going to be Sarah Palin holding her own in her debate against Biden. Based on the interviews I've seen she's flubbed up worse than Paris Hilton's answer to an ice cube being rubbed on her nipple:
"Oooooh thats hot"
Maybe her screwing up interviews is some kind of rope-a-dope to trick Biden into thinking he's entering a cake walk...or maybe I'm not cynical enough. Whatever the case may be the GOP ticket needs to step it up in the debates if they want to turn the rising tide against them, because last week should have been a knock out punch against Obama on foreign policy and McCain acted like he was distracted because he wasn't sure if he remembered to TIVO Matlock or not.
Oh no another "McCain is old" joke.
Its ok....like black comedians who spew the N-word I can say that about McCain because I'm going to vote for him. After a vetting process that is slightly more comprehensive than the one that selected Biden and Palin I finally found the nose plug I'm going to use in the voting booth.
THE CONSERVATIVE FACE SPITER - model # 2008
We get promised one every election year...but we never actually get it. Surprises are supposed to be exciting, but every October during election season I'm left disappointed every time....times 31.
Remember when we were kids and grandma and grandpa would visit, they always say "I've got a surprise for you" and then during their visit you endure cheek pinches, Metamucil milkshakes, and the smell of old (aww thats mean...don't you dare act like old isn't a smell) for hours, sometimes days if they want to make the trip from Florida worth it....and then they leave....like they don't remember saying it?
No, that never happens. You get that surprise, because grandparents are awesome, even though the surprise is just finding out what kind of sweater you get: V-neck or button up.
Or how about when your priest is baby sitting and he says "I've got a surprise for you" and you're like "gee I hope its an October Surprise!"
No, it never happens.
This time there is rampant speculation that Joseph "Gaffe-o-Rama" Biden will be dropped from the ticket so Hillary can come on and save the day from Obama's recent surge in the polls.
Yes Biden puts the "ass" in "gaffe" (you have to hold your tongue while saying "ass"...............you just tried it didn't you?) but that is not going to get Obama, or even himself, into any trouble.
"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened.' " FDR wasn't president then and television came along about a decade later.
Biden actually said this...and liberals STILL snicker about Dan Quayle and compare Sarah Palin to him.
At least P-O-T-A-T-O-E was in the ballpark of being factually correct.
Biden's departure is not going to be the October Surprise...
I think if any such surprise is going to happen its going to be Sarah Palin holding her own in her debate against Biden. Based on the interviews I've seen she's flubbed up worse than Paris Hilton's answer to an ice cube being rubbed on her nipple:
"Oooooh thats hot"
Maybe her screwing up interviews is some kind of rope-a-dope to trick Biden into thinking he's entering a cake walk...or maybe I'm not cynical enough. Whatever the case may be the GOP ticket needs to step it up in the debates if they want to turn the rising tide against them, because last week should have been a knock out punch against Obama on foreign policy and McCain acted like he was distracted because he wasn't sure if he remembered to TIVO Matlock or not.
Oh no another "McCain is old" joke.
Its ok....like black comedians who spew the N-word I can say that about McCain because I'm going to vote for him. After a vetting process that is slightly more comprehensive than the one that selected Biden and Palin I finally found the nose plug I'm going to use in the voting booth.
THE CONSERVATIVE FACE SPITER - model # 2008
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