Every time we get to October in the election cycle we hear rampant speculation there will be an "October Surprise." This year I think the October Surprise will be that there actually is one.
We get promised one every election year...but we never actually get it. Surprises are supposed to be exciting, but every October during election season I'm left disappointed every time....times 31.
Remember when we were kids and grandma and grandpa would visit, they always say "I've got a surprise for you" and then during their visit you endure cheek pinches, Metamucil milkshakes, and the smell of old (aww thats mean...don't you dare act like old isn't a smell) for hours, sometimes days if they want to make the trip from Florida worth it....and then they leave....like they don't remember saying it?
No, that never happens. You get that surprise, because grandparents are awesome, even though the surprise is just finding out what kind of sweater you get: V-neck or button up.
Or how about when your priest is baby sitting and he says "I've got a surprise for you" and you're like "gee I hope its an October Surprise!"
No, it never happens.
This time there is rampant speculation that Joseph "Gaffe-o-Rama" Biden will be dropped from the ticket so Hillary can come on and save the day from Obama's recent surge in the polls.
Yes Biden puts the "ass" in "gaffe" (you have to hold your tongue while saying "ass"...............you just tried it didn't you?) but that is not going to get Obama, or even himself, into any trouble.
"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened.' " FDR wasn't president then and television came along about a decade later.
Biden actually said this...and liberals STILL snicker about Dan Quayle and compare Sarah Palin to him.
At least P-O-T-A-T-O-E was in the ballpark of being factually correct.
Biden's departure is not going to be the October Surprise...
I think if any such surprise is going to happen its going to be Sarah Palin holding her own in her debate against Biden. Based on the interviews I've seen she's flubbed up worse than Paris Hilton's answer to an ice cube being rubbed on her nipple:
"Oooooh thats hot"
Maybe her screwing up interviews is some kind of rope-a-dope to trick Biden into thinking he's entering a cake walk...or maybe I'm not cynical enough. Whatever the case may be the GOP ticket needs to step it up in the debates if they want to turn the rising tide against them, because last week should have been a knock out punch against Obama on foreign policy and McCain acted like he was distracted because he wasn't sure if he remembered to TIVO Matlock or not.
Oh no another "McCain is old" joke.
Its ok....like black comedians who spew the N-word I can say that about McCain because I'm going to vote for him. After a vetting process that is slightly more comprehensive than the one that selected Biden and Palin I finally found the nose plug I'm going to use in the voting booth.
THE CONSERVATIVE FACE SPITER - model # 2008
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