Whats the difference between Global Warming and the Holcaust?

Well, if you tell Al Gore that he has to pick the one that definitely doesn't exist....then Mel Gibson's father is going to have a new best friend.

Global Warming has become the greatest modern religious movement since John Lennon's ghost piloted the Hale Bopp comet to salvation for the suicidal Heaven's Gate cult.....and to steal a line from the caller I heard on Dennis Miller's radio show, Al Gore has become the church of GW's Eco-Pope.

On a side note, I know the whole John Lennon/Hale Bopp/Heaven's Gate connection doesn't any make sense...thats why I juxtaposed it with Global Warming.

(On another side note, I supposed they are in fact connected inasmuch as the Heaven's Gate cult were a bunch of space cadets....and John Lennon was the Space Cadet Commander in the political activist period of his life...there, they're connected...happy now?)

I realize there is a lot of visual evidence that something is happening. However there is also way too much hyperventilating about the "alarming" rate at which the worldwide temperature is rising. Researchers, armed with only a century's worth of meteorological data about the world's climate and the topography of the earths ice have, as Pope Gore famously declared, "closed the debate" on the subject.

Think about that, for centuries, indeed, millenia of human history we only have a decent grasp on global meteorology from the last century...and that is a very generous assessment.

But the debate is closed, and Pope Gore is going to lead us to the fluorescent light at the end of the glacially eroded tunnel. How is he going to do it? He's going to lead by example!

In the last year his electricity usage amounted to 221,000 kilowatt-hours. His monthly average is 17,768 kilowatt-hours. This staggering number is up 10% from his usage last year.

Meanwhile the average American home consumes 11,040 kilowatt hours.....PER YEAR.

The Catholic Church has been in a frenzy since this revelation, as they thought they held a monopoly in the religious hypocrisy market.

I think this speaks for itself when it comes to addressing the real motivations for this 21st Century Crusade. Furthermore, the only group Gore actually ingratiates himself with, frankly, is Hollywood. Until now it seemed impossible that a bunch of wasteful, selfish, self-centered, narcissistic attention whores could actually find a leader. Sorry to say in a year of barrier breaking Barack Obama has been outdone.

As of today I hope Gore takes his private jet to Aspen in the next day or two so he can enjoy a good round of snow skiing...yes snow...as Aspen enjoys its second longest ski season on record.

Gore has already won two of the most prestigious awards attainable to society's cadre of self-congratulators. The Nobel Peace Prize, and an Academy Award.

I'm setting up a new award just for Gore's efforts....I've been inspired....its called:

Luminaries in the Initiative for Arctic Restoration

I know that seems kind of long...so I'm going to shorten it to its acronym:

LIAR